Sunday Night

I'm not used to having a blog, and this feels really awkward. For one thing, I'm just giving this list of events and initial impressions that I haven't been able to analyze, so I feel like I'm just rambling. For another thing, I am not aiming for quality prose at this time. I don't know how people write these great blogs like antiplath. I almost left this afternoon, and I thank the people who told me to, especially Sarah. I know that people are angry with me because now they have to worry about me. I don't want anyone to think that I imagine myself being tough or strong or that I think I have something special that anyone else doesn't have. J and I keep getting text messages from people all over the country (people who were already in other parts of the country as opposed to those who evacuated). It seems many people have gotten the impression that if people in New Orleans metro leave their homes, they will be sent to Angola. The curfew is when it gets dark, and looters will be taken to Angola. Anyone stopped who isn't looting should have a very good reason for being out after dark, and if they do, they will not be taken to Angola or anywhere else. Bob Breck was on Fox around 7 p.m. Many people have written in on his blog that they can't get him on television. He has good news. He began by saying, "I am addressing those people in New Orleans metro who did not evacuate." He said confidently that Hurricane Gustav is not the mother of all storms as C. Ray Nagin described it. He also said this storm will not be nearly as bad as Katrina. According to Bob, the storm has shifted northwest and is moving quickly. Our side of the storm is not the strong side; it's being killed by a dry pocket of air. A miracle. He called this a dealable storm for people in New Orleans metro. "It won't be catastrophic," he said. He expects it to be a Category 2 or a high 3 when it makes landfall NW of New Orleans metro. Winds and Lake Pontchartrain will not be problems, he says. "It will not be anything like Hurricane Katrina," he added, and he meant that in a good way. Rainfall is going to be the worst problem. The storm could very well stall in Western Louisiana, and New Orleans metro could get heavy rain all week, which will lead to flooding. Be careful Andrea. I was up all night almost after I read the comment posted. I'm not going to argue with a word of it. This morning, Joe and Sarah got me thinking that I should get the hell out. Then my car wouldn't start. When it did, I got my friend Andrea's truck from Uptown (thank you everybody) and drove it downtown. Lupe's godfather, K, has lived here all his life, and we'd been on the phone all night. At one point he called to say he was leaving, and then he called back to say he wasn't. K and his wife have a generator and supplies and have waited storms out and evacuated, and it was the phone calls from worried loved ones that finally was the deciding factor. K knows me well and lately, he's been concerned that I never take his advice. When he decided to go, he gave me all of his gasoline. I felt like the ground was shaking. He'd sworn he'd be right down the street. I asked him to tell me honestly what he thought I should do, and we stood there in his yard on N. Rampart Street, and I asked him if he thought anything would happen to Lupe or to Lupe and me. I told him I would take his advice, but he wouldn't tell me to go. I was ready to leave if he told me to. I can't give the explanation right now for why I took his advice and not other people's advice except that he was standing there in person and the mandatory evacuation had begun. I don't like keeping a blog b/c I'm writing all this stuff as it comes and I haven't figured it out yet. I hope I figure out the reason I was ready to listen to K and not anyone else (I really thought he'd tell me to go), but right now I'm too tired to know. He said he didn't think anything horrible would happen if I stayed. Then he gave me all this ice and gas and left. Josh boarded up all the windows and got the generator working and we organized all the batteries and flashlights and cooked up a lot of meat and filled up everything we could find with water. On one hand, it seems like it might be really good for me that I trusted myself that I could handle staying and actually did something I wanted to do. People keep telling me that since I stopped drinking I have more confidence in myself. I have always been the kind of person who has done what I was told to make other people happy. On the other hand, it seems like it's scary and self destructive and crazy that I didn't take anyone's advice and leave. Obviously a therapist will be helpful in this area. Right now, the forecast (according to B.B.) is better than anyone hoped for, so the reality is that New Orleans is lucky and that I'm lucky. Something is watching over this city, even if it's in the form of dry air. I sincerely apologize to those whom I have worried. I went to Flora's right before dark and Ali (sp) the owner was there with his son and a firefighter. His son is in his mid twenties and seems pretty in shape despite the Kool cigarette he offered me while smoking two. I interviewed them on camera, and his son, Mon, said he saved two people's lives during Katrina, and he came here to help his father and anyone else who needed it. The firefighter said he didn't think I was putting his life in danger by staying. Scattered people wandered the Marigny in pairs. It seems like everyone who stayed has a dog. The firefighter is assigned to Lakeview, and he he'd been boarding his house up somewhere near me. He expressed concern that I would tell him if I have a gun and insisted I needed one. Aside from that, he said he thought I was prepared. Already, people have approached him asking him for canned food b/c they don't have any. What else??? The National Guard was everywhere this morning as I drove from Bywater to Gentilly to Uptown and down Tchopitoulas around the Convention Center and then down Decatur. They waved at me. The shell on Franklin and St. Claude was trying to close, but they still had gas. They wouldn't sell anybody anything else, and a few people were bitching that they couldn't buy alcohol or cigars. I was turning up Dauphine from Elysian Fields around noon, and two people in a really nice looking S.U.V. flagged me down. At first I was confused b/c they didn't have anything in the car, so they obviously weren't evacuating. They asked me how to get to St. Bernard Parrish and they asked me where Claiborne was. I told them, and they explained that they were from A.B.C. news and had a hotel room in the quarter. I gave them directions and my phone number. Soon after that, Mardi Gras Zone was the only store still open, and as I bought more water and cigarettes, the guy who always works there told me he was going to close and stay inside and open as soon as possible, using generators. I can't imagine how many generators they must have. That place is huge. I met a man outside who had a Press Pass and was wearing a white T-shirt with PRESS written on it in huge blue letters. He gave me his number and we talked about being afraid of getting arrested/in trouble for being out. Rumors were flying about curfew at that time. He was not invited to wait out the storm with ABC even though he contacted them. I know someone in the French Quarter who is staying on Dumaine with two doctors. He said he's staying because he can't deal with evacuating and not knowing. I don't know what it is that makes me think I can't deal with evacuating (aside from certain issues involving a companion of mine that I suppose should be reserved for my therapist). I really felt and feel like I couldn't do it. I'm sorry everybody who thinks this is selfish of me. If you think it was stupid of me, you're probably right. Anyway, it's good to know doctors are around. The neighbors went to the Nighthawks Diner to wait out the storm, and I guess anybody can go there if they want to get drunk (I am not going to even worry about pronoun number agreement in sentences like that one). Josh helped all these people board up their windows and knows where a lot of people are staying. I ran into several people I know from the Marigny (know and like, I might add). It's not raining yet. We've organized everything so we can grab whatever we need at any time. It's just kind of drizzling out and the wind's whipping out just a little bit. Josh's mother told me that when a large number of people pray (substitute any other word like meditate, etc) it can change the weather. Thank you nuns. Thank you storm for calming down for now. His mother also said she wouldn't have left either and wanted to make sure we hadn't parked our cars under any trees. For some reason, my parents have been oddly calm and supportive about this. I told them not to watch the news too much, but to read Bob Breck's blog and try not to panic, and they're not panicking. Now that tornados are much much less likely, they actually told me they were glad I stayed. I made Lupe a floatation device out of styrofoam and we have a floatation device of our own. The animals are not acting like anything weird is going on like I thought they would. Aside from the fact that they've aquired fleas, they're just hanging around begging for chicken. Lupe's been humping her ugly dog toy for an hour now. There is a chicken in the yard by the way. A live one. It could kick Diesel's ass. I still have a T-Mobile connection for my phone and internet. Something's wrong with my WiFi connection, but T-Mobile said they will send trucks with satellites on them to this area, which was nice of them since their internet service really sucks. My friend has this alcoholic brother, a really bad one. We've all probably given him change on Decatur at some point in our lives. I guess he got on a plane and is now in a far away state (he was really really drunk). Good for him. Thank you everybody who loved me enough to tell me to evacuate. Thank you storm for calming down. I'm sorry I made you worry, especially you Erica. Oh, and my mother says she's glad I have a boyfriend who's not a wimp. I hope everyone out there is safe and sleeping. If Bob Breck is right, we'll all be here by the end of the week, but you never know. Good night and God Bless, Tara Jill

Supplies

I just posted the link to Bob Breck's hurricane supply list and am including the link here: http://www.bobbreck.com/supply.htm Please add any items you recommend having around by posting a comment to this post! My extras: Mace Gaoulshes A boyfriend/girlfriend A sturdy backpack Aviator sunglasses A safe with all your important documents, especially your lease and proof of address here! A waterproof notebook Sharpies Spray paint

My Motives

Besides the fact that I have never wanted to evacuate and have always been forced to by a certain extremely lame ex-boyfriend of mine, I have a real motive for deciding to ride Gustav out. My motivation seems to stem from a deep resentment towards the media. I remember sitting on a futon in Austin and watching the news and seeing all the houses with the water up to the roofs and some news lady saying, "80% of New Orleans is under water." I, like everyone else, grew an umbilical cord that connected directly to my laptop and tried to find out how much water my neighborhood had, where my friends were, and if there were actually sharks swimming in the French Quarter. In a bar bathroom in Austin, I kicked the shit out of a door because some guy from New Orleans had been crying to me, insisting that my apartment in Mid City had flooded because the Ford Dealership had. And this lady in the Schlotzky's wouldn't shut up about how I had to come to terms with the fact that I would never return to New Orleans or my apartment again. 80% of the city. An image of water to the rooftops. My boyfriend drunk and screaming at me that we could never go back. I remember telling a good friend of mine that I flat out did not believe her that we would not ever be allowed to come back here. I was drunk, very drunk, and crying that Corey Henry would play the trombone in the French Quarter someday and we would be there. It wasn't that I knew something other people didn't or was more practical or had more information than anyone else. I was deeply in denial because I could not deal with the fact that all my collections and pets were gone. I also didn't want to waste the energy mourning when I wasn't sure. I was taking a shower outside on the bayou in Arnaudville when Jarret Lofstead called to tell us that he'd kicked in our backdoor and there was no water in our Mid-City apartment. He had a press pass. Right now, I don't care whether it will be hot and sticky and I will never find a generator and I'll have to eat cold beans out of a can. I don't care if holing up in C's apartment will be boring, or if I'll end up on some highway bridge waiting for help. As long as I can keep Lupe safe, I don't care what I see or how hot I feel or how crazy it makes me. I would rather stay in the sweat and stink and terror of New Orleans than sit on some nice dry couch wondering if what I'm seeing on the television is true. Because I won't be able to look away if I leave here. I can say I'll try, but I'll want to know what's happening here. So I am taking this opportunity to use my tools as a journalist to record whatever I can about New Orleans as Hurricane Gustav ravages the coast. I promise only to include information I have experienced first hand. At least I'll know what I'm seeing is true.

Generators

J. and I went to the new Home Depot and all the generators cost about 800 bucks. It seems all the generators anywhere around here cost that much. I'm really glad to have J. with me. I didn't even know what a generator looked like until he showed me his boss's yesterday. There are certain things I can't see myself getting mixed up with without a guy involved: microwave popcorn, cable television, tents, extra ice cube trays so the guy doesn't use all the ice up, and generators. I pictured it looking much differently, more like a huge A.C. window unit than a lawnmower. I later went to Lowe's to copy C.'s keys (twice and they still don't work). Before each of these expeditions, I took my time with a cigarette and prepared myself for the hectic nightmare in which everyone was running around with huge squares of plywood and fighting over the last gas cans and screw guns as the lines snaked through the aisles. In actuality, I have never seen either store so deserted. A few employees wandered around talking about everything that had sold out, and the parking lots were almost bare. I didn't even have to wait in line. I can't understand what people are doing if they're not going to Lowe's or Home Depot. Lowe's, by the way, is closing at 2 p.m. Saturday, which is fine with me since they can't make keys or sell cheap generators. At this point, my sole motivation for attempting to obtain a cheap or free generator is to keep cool.

Air Conditioning

A. is still packing. It's funny, I was asking Josh to explain to me how a generator actually works, and A. seemed astonished that my motive for wanting a generator was air conditioning. I still can't figure out what else I would really use it for. I have this Red Cross Radio that is also a cell phone charger. I can put AA batteries in it or wind the crank around and around and around. "Lucky me," A. says as she grabs some of her daughters panties. She has officially become the first person I've seen evacuate. This afternoon, Josh got a haircut at Salon D'Malta, so I got one too. It seemed like a weird thing to do while driving around buying all that shit on the above list, but I was really glad to see my hairdresser, M. A guy in an LSU shirt came in while M. was blow drying my hair. "Where are you going?" he asked. "Shreveport. Tonight," M. said. "I might go there too," LSU guy replied. A long pause followed. "Do you think the boys down here for Decadence will evacuate to Shreveport?" LSU guy asked. I told M. that I was staying because I want to document the experience as a member of the media, and I asked him if there was anything he wanted on the record. "Get the hell out!" M. told me.

So this is it

I'm spending my last night in Gentilly, creating this blog as A. shows me a suitcase she's stuffed under the bed, the kind an expectant mother might prepare for the hospital, but this one if filled with her journals (or should I say, her journals that were not destroyed in Katrina). A. came home from Rockn Bowl and told me she was going. It's kind of weird, because Josh and I have been staying in A.'s house since we came back from vacation. We have actually put a deposit down on own apartment, but since it's right down the street, right near the lake, we have not moved in yet. Tomorrow, we will move to a friend's house in Bywater and 'watch' it for her as she takes a flight to Tennessee. Josh and I have been camping and beach housing with our two dogs for two months. Most of my stuff is on the second floor of a storage unit uptown, and since the car is full of camping gear and we don't have an apartment, we are oddly equipped for a hurricane. Here is the list I emailed my father a few hours ago: 15 gallons of water (We can fill up more things with water at C.s when we go there tomorrow) 20 AA batteries 4 AA lithium batteries 15 C Batteries (the radio takes C) 10 D batteries A flashlight that can use all 3 types of batteries A flashlight that uses AA batteries or can be wound up and is also a radio A huge light that you can charge and lasts for a long time. 8 votive candles of various saints/jesus/virgin mary A Red Cross Radio/phone charger/ac adapter that runs on AA batteries or can be wound up with a crank and can give one minute to the phone per ten cranks. A Coleman stove and propane for it A raft (from camping; we really won't need it) A 2 month supply of dog food for Lupe, all Lupe's medicine (heartworm/flea) A 2 month supply of cat food ( i can't find the cats though) A 2 week supply of Diesel's food (we can get more; the dollar store is full of the stuff) A gas lantern and whatever goes with it (it's Josh's and I don't know how it works) Matches Tons of lighters and cigarettes Gauloshes A survival knife Rope A tent A tarp Josh's tools (hammer, screw gun, other portable tools that he says are useful) A full tank of gas in the car. A ten gallon red gas thing full of gas A generator that someone is lending us that we don't have yet An ad on craigslist asking to rent/buy/borrow generators 3 friends within spitting distance with generators No way to buy a generator at Lowe's or Home Depot b/c they are all so expensive since the cheap ones sold out Almost a month of my medication Laptop w/ T Mobile signal 2 T Mobile cell phones with 504 area codes (josh is 504 344 4448) A legitimate press pass (Nolafugees is a real corporation now) A video camera and tons of tape A huge cooler A really good first aid kit Acceptable clothing for the situation (i.e. shorts with pockets for me to wear if I have to) Sunblock Bathingsuits Charcoal and lighter fluid (to grill the meat before it rains) A Map of various evacuation routes The Club for the car Diet rootbeer Canned foods (C. has tons, and she said we shouldn't worry about eating them, but we have our own too) An axe (from camping) Mace A sword Plywood to board up C's windows if necessary Ugly dog Books to read I don't want my parents to worry about me, but they can't help it. They are already worried that I will die hacking my way through an attic or by being raped by looters or in the Superdome. They don't remember that I took swimming lessons until I was 15. They, like most of the country, are already convinced the city will be gone forever as soon as Gustav hits. I can't blame them. They have, after all, been watching the news.